7 Years Married: 7 Lessons Learned
On this day seven years ago I married my very best friend & love of my life, Timmy.
After 6 years of dating & a 16-month engagement, we had the simplest wedding, the wedding of our dreams on April 6, 2013. These past 7 years have been the best years ever & I’m so grateful to share all my days with the man who loves me endlessly. Here are a few lessons we’ve learned over these 7 amazing years.
1. If you’re good at anything at all in your marriage, learn to be good at forgiving.
When two very unperfect people share everything together, it gets messy.
Forgiveness & grace, don’t go a day without them.
2. Laugh together & laugh a lot.
3. The more you know/learn about yourself, the more you can set up your spouse to love you well.
(It’s the “alley-oop” for your marriage.) Take all the personality quizzes, enneagram tests, learn your love languages, learn your habits, learn what are your most common shortcomings, learn about how your culture or upbringing shape how you see things (literally any way you can learn about yourself, do it!) & tell your spouse about all of those things so that they know how to meet your needs & love you the best way you need to be loved.
For example, I’m the introvert who needs alone time to recharge, but I need quality time to feel loved. My husband knows that when I’m having a hard day the best way to love me through that means allowing me to have time to soak in an epsom salt bath to decompress & then share an uninterrupted dinner date (no screens).
4. Try the things your spouse loves, just for the pure joy of understanding your spouse’s passions.
I’m admitting to the internet that playing Pokemon Go with my Pokemon-loving husband has been such a sweet gift I never knew our marriage needed. He gets a kick out of seeing me enjoy the game (a game I never thought I’d ever play nor enjoy) & we get to enjoy it together. He willingly goes into the city, because I’m a city girl who needs city adventure, but before me, he would rather avoid the city. You combine the two together & you pretty much get the perfect date for us.
5. Big loving gestures are wonderful,
but most of your marriage resides in the mundane & little everyday things.
Enjoy the everyday things.
Celebrating birthdays & holidays & anniversaries together are wonderful (they really are so wonderful!),
but the best part of this marriage is sharing every day with my favorite person,
even the ordinary days & we have more ordinary days than not. In 2018 I was in and out of the hospital & we had some very hard dates, but that year taught us that a very “normal day” is such a precious gift & we should never take “normal” for granted.
6. Be each other’s biggest fan.
7. Our marriage is not our own.
Tim & I know that our marriage is a gift from God, as is every good gift in our lives. Knowing that reminds us that our marriage is a gift we need to cherish, protect & work on daily. Our marriage has far more meaning to us than merely loving each other, our marriage is our way to point right back to the one who gave it to us, the one who gives us life & sustains our lives, our God.
The lessons we’ve learned over these past 7 years are countless, and there is so much we still need to learn & grow in. I’m thankful to do all the learning, growing & living, alongside my very best friend, Timmy.
Timmy, I love you more each day.
Thank you for loving me by always pointing me back to Christ.
Happy Anniversary you goober.
